Caroline Aldridge, who studied in Ashley Stokes’ Creative Writing Workshop dedicated to Life-Writing, Memoir and Creative Non-Fiction, discusses how she took her raw idea through its process and arrived in the end with a soon-to-be-published and heart-searing memoir, He Died Waiting.

I found the Unthank School of Writing and started to write a book almost by accident. Well, not so much ‘by accident’ but because of one. In 2018, I had a head injury which caused my cognitive functioning and my ability to function outside of my home to become unreliable. I had some aphasia and my inability to find the right words was bothering me. It was frustrating. Some words were elusive, they were tantalisingly close, but nevertheless unreachable. My speech therapist suggested I did lots of word association games and indulged in as much conversation as I could manage. I got bored quickly with playing word games against myself on the computer. I started doing the work-sheets I had been given. Boring. Mind-numbingly boring. A friend suggested that as part of my neuro-rehabilitation I did some creative writing and maybe join a class.

I found the Unthank School online and was attracted to the idea of ‘small friendly groups’, a tutor with experience and qualifications, and the structure of 10-week courses. Attending the creative writing group meant that I had to learn to tolerate being a passenger on the journey there, write a little bit, and talk to people. That did not sound too difficult. I thought I might write a short story. Maybe a funny tale of a middle-aged woman who has banged her head … something light-hearted...

In my panic, to produce a couple of pages of writing to take along to the first workshop with Ashley Stokes, I decided to cheat. I found some emotive pieces of poetry and prose that I had written after my eldest son died in 2014. I adapted one of these into the first draft of what would become the prologue to my creative life narrative – He Died Waiting: Learning the lessons – a mother’s view of mental health services. I was feeling my way around what I wanted to write. What needed saying. And how I might go about it. Bearing in mind I could only write in short bursts before fatigue would render me useless, this was a somewhat scrappy piece of work.

At the first workshop, the others shared their work first. I was sitting among people who were well underway in writing their books. My poor brain was struggling to process listening while reading the text at the same time. I was finding it difficult to concentrate. I remember thinking I had made a mistake. I was nowhere near ready for this. When it came to my turn, I wondered how these complete strangers might react to my half-baked musings. I rushed through reading my piece out. I looked up to see stunned expressions. Someone said: ‘This is a story that needs to be told’. During the following week, I received positive and constructive feedback from the group that encouraged me to keep going.

I found Ashley’s experiential way of teaching worked for me. Each week, some of the group would read short extracts from their work and then we commented on what we liked (and why) and identified areas that needed development. Ashley gently guided us to consider style, form, author and character voices and drafting. I learnt so much from the triumphs and struggles of the other group members’ writing, too. I really enjoyed hearing their stories and I hope they too will have their work published. As the weeks went by, I became more aware of the writing processes and techniques by producing pieces of writing and getting feedback from Ashley.

It was if, once I had started writing, I could not stop. I was slow and had to take frequent breaks but the words kept coming. The anecdotes and memories took form on the pages. This book seemed to be writing itself. Words spilling from me with a sense of urgency. I had no idea if it would be published, or how I would share it, but I was writing it anyway. Some of the first drafts flowed and I could see how my writing might have the potential to influence. But often the words were emotional vomit that needed to be cleaned up. Writing about messy and painful experiences can be a messy and painful process. The group became a safe space where I could offer up portions of my narrative and my ‘critical friends’ asked questions or made suggestions.

Every time, I shared extracts with the group they were moved by the story and told me that they wanted more. I was a complete novice and although I was limited by my brain injury I was still progressing at quite a pace. Ashley didn’t inhibit the process of getting the story told by dwelling on the technical aspects. We re-visited these things once I had gained confidence in my narrative and insight into my shortcomings. When I began, I had an audience in mind who were predominantly students or practitioners in health and social care. I was familiar with writing in an academic style that was suitable for them. Ashley helped me to understand that my story had a wider public appeal and he assisted me in embracing a more creative style. This was so liberating and the result is a book that is rich in metaphor and emotion.

Writing the book was perhaps the easy bit. Over the next few terms, Ashley guided me through editing and beginning the process of getting published. I learnt about the important aspects of being an author, such as how to write a synopsis or pitch letter. He was aspirational for me and his confidence, that my book had the potential to change peoples’ hearts and minds ended up being the encouragement I needed to work through the mysterious (and slow) process of engaging with potential agents or publishers.

The Unthank School lived up to its promise of being a creative writing group that can ‘help you explore your creative potential in a friendly and supportive environment’ and ‘realise your ambitions’. I appreciate all the support and encouragement I had from Ashley and the group members. I would not have succeeded without them.

To find out a little more about Caroline’s story, click here.

 Click this link to order Caroline’s book:  He Died waiting: Learning the lessons- a bereaved mother’s view of mental health services. Norwich. Learning Social Worker Publications.